feminism for beginners

Feminism is a hot topic at the moment, that fact is indisputable. In the light of International Women's Day yesterday the word has been fresh on the lips of the media as well as ordinary people around the world. What is a seemingly disputable debate being tossed around right now is what exactly feminism means. Lately I've been so frustrated by comments by acquaintances, friends, passer-bys, writers, and celebrities alike who simply do not understand what it is to believe in feminism, or to be a feminist. The thing is, it's okay to not understand! It's totally, totally fine - the important thing is that we all must learn what it means to exercise a healthy view on women and their positions within our society. And so, I've complied this article (mostly for myself as an outlet for my ever-growing grievances against the sheer ignorance of some people) to help hopefully just one person change their perspective and overcome any unawareness they once had.

Let's being by asking ourselves: what is a feminist?

No, it's not a insane bra-burning lesbian with armpit hair who has a burning grudge against the male species. This is not the 60s, this is the 21st century, and so it's time this stereotype was abolished and we followed the pure, most simple definition. I think the most effective way to explain the definition of a feminist is through a lil bit of Queen B...

Notice the snippet from Chimamanda Ngozi Adiche:

We teach girls to shrink themselves
To make themselves smaller
We say to girls
"You can have ambition
But not too much
You should aim to be successful
But not too successful

Otherwise you will threaten the man"

Because I am female

I am expected to aspire to marriage

I am expected to make my life choices

Always keeping in mind that

Marriage is the most important

Now marriage can be a source of

Joy and love and mutual support

But why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage

And we don't teach boys the same?

We raise girls to each other as competitors

Not for jobs or for accomplishments

Which I think can be a good thing

But for the attention of men

We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings

In the way that boys are

Feminist: the person who believes in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes

Though I don't condone the use of calling your fellow females bitches (only because I believe it gives an excuse for people, both male and female, to use it negatively against you) I have so much respect for Beyoncé for empowering women and including such a strong feminist message in her song through the voice of this acclaimed Nigerian writer. Below is her incredibly influential speech, and props to Bey for indirectly encouraging young girls and boys alike to look up the speech for themselves and be inspired by her forceful words.

So: why are we so reluctant to label ourselves feminists?
Cleverly, the labeling of feminism has been sarcastically referred to as "the F-word" or "the F-bomb" based on the taboo nature of calling oneself a word which relates to the image of that insane woman with crazy eyes, denouncing the existence of all men. (A really great blog, focused on feminism in everyday life and pop culture, is thefbomb.org which has articles on just about everything to do with feminism.) A lot of this has come from public figures, whether it be pop stars or politicians, who have been reluctant to call themselves a feminist in fear of the negative connotations. I recently felt to smack my head against the wall when reading an interview with girl band Little Mix from an Australian newspaper which quoted:
"They have been dubbed the next Spice Girls and have a string of girl power anthems to their name, but don't go labelling Little Mix as feminists.
'I wouldn't say we're feminists: we don't hate our men,' band member Perrie Edwards told Confidential." [source].

my reaction:

What astounds me is that a group like Little Mix, who probably have songs bursting with girl power and sass, cannot even pretend to know what feminism entails? Like, honestly, that makes me want to die. How can you be in the public eye, with millions of impressionable teenagers looking up to you, but yet still make such uneducated comments? Astounding. Even my beloved Taylor Swift has previously had trouble admitting her feminism in interviews and this annoys me. Do we not proudly look up to mother figures and other strong females in our lives? Therefore, should we not be ashamed to proudly call ourselves a feminist. After all, we are just standing for the equality of both sexes. True feminists do not want one up on males, we don't want to be better, or to beat them: feminists just want to be viewed equally on economic, political, and social levels. We want to take a stand against slut-shaming, and the pay gap,and educational rights, and rape culture, and any other issues that affect how unequal we appear to the rest of the world.

And, no, these issues are not a myth: they're real and they're affecting us today, even in countries like the UK and America who are meant to be pioneers in equality. Recently, Lily Allen denounced feminism, saying she believes in equality because it exists, instead of celebrating feminism but, hey Lily, did you know, between 2012 and 2013, the pay gap between men and women in Britain actually increased, going from 9.5% to 10%? Equality doesn't exist. This is not even to mention the disgraceful levels of inequality in the rest of the world, where some girls aren't even allowed to take part in education because of their gender. Because, apparently, we are intellectually inferior and we belong in the home.

You may have heard the phrases "get back into the kitchen" or "nice story baby, now go make me a sandwich" being thrown around by chauvinistic males from time to time. And do you know why they say these things? Because they are intimidated by women. These boys probably experience serious mommy issues or are just scared of never getting a girlfriend, or whatever. But you're never going to get one with an outlook on life that's so demeaning and idiotic. Why would a woman want to date someone who sees their rights as a joke? Because this interview below, where actor Joseph Gordon-Levitt proudly announces himself as a feminist, gives me serious heart eyes:

Boys: don't be ashamed to call yourself a feminist - the other boys may, ignorantly, call you gay but who cares? It's very sexy and you're going to get all the girls (ps gay isn't actually an insult) x

For me, and probably a lot of people, feminism is also about support. I'm a firm believer in the powers of kindness, and so these may be those morals talking but I don't think feminism should be about the shaming of other women - or men for that matter. Just be nice! If somebody enjoys sex, whether that be a boy or a girl, let them. How does it bother you? If it's not destructive of relationships then it does not affect you in any way. We need to stop slut-shaming, and instead be shameful of ourselves for ever using words like "slut" or "hoe" (I never understand people who use those terms affectionately either. "hey slut!" - um? Thanks but no thanks?). Lorde once slammed Selena Gomez for her song 'Come And Get It' by criticising it's anti-feminist message. Personally I think if Miss Gomez gots it, Miss Gomez should flaunt it if that's what makes her comfortable. Her response to these comments were perfect: "That's not feminism. Lorde is not supporting other women." The world is a hard enough place to live in, why not make it easier by being nice to one another.

And so that was just a little bit about feminism for those who don't completely understand it yet. I encourage everyone who reads this to build curiosity on the subject by reading books like these, or just doing a bit of quick research online so you can impress your friends with your political and intellectual prowess.